Art and other avenues of mania!

Oh my freaking god what have I been up to? I have been going through a lot lately. I mean, my art for one, recently I went to the Art Show at Origins and had a blast, met some people, and possibly some very special people. I have an art studio in the Secor building that has a lot of room, and I am still figuring out what to do with all of it. I have recently begun speaking to a fellow artist who seems capable and wise, and he has given me some seriously good insight on my compositions at the first discussion we had. I have had my spatulas stolen (except "The Shwinger") and my dice and I have felt sad and empty... until I have gotten a new one thanks to my friend Ren. I was going through Origins and realizing how many of my dice I lost... oh sweet God the pain.

My day job has been slowly getting more and more abysmal as time goes on. I do not know what to say that I haven't either ranted about too much before or what to say to change anything there. Every day it just gets worse and I have been looking for some other gainful employment.

I enjoy being single, but it has been hard. My emotions feel barely there and I am unable to tell how much pain I am in, but it must be considerable as I still dont feel anything except melancholy for the loss of the cats. I feel like I woke up from a dream in my parents house. Like the past nine years didn't happen and I was in a coma the whole time.

I sit here in dad's room, the moon is half empty (it's waning) and I am about to watch "Zombieland" which is a phenomenal movie. I think of someone I met at the con, and I hope I...

It's too soon to say anything about that. She was awesome and I hope I will see her again. God, I hope so. Lets just say that with all the anxiety these feelings entail that I still catch myself smiling when she held my new spatula the way she did!

I have been reading a lot about business and how to make money and finance. I have been looking for ways to make my money situation far better than it is.

Today specifically I have been on an emotional roller coaster where I feel depressed, yet edgy about drawing things. I feel the need to burn off this extra energy, but lack the focus to use it to create anything. I want to do everything, but I feel lost in which direction.

I went to the show and I had fun, but I am frustrated with myself and my approach to it. I am not up to snuff in my own opinion and today's advice was fresh and a direction to go in. I am smiling thinking about it right now.

My life has definitely been improving, or rather a reckoning has been taking place... like the fall out from the Tower card in the tarot. It's clearing the way for new symbols, new hopes, and new dreams. hopefully a reestablishment of myself.