Sometimes it's wise...

Wisdom. Sometimes I think it's all I ever seek. I write this now and it lends so much insight into myself come to think of it. All the studying I do of people, motivations, stories, the occult, science, happiness, and sorrow, and religion.

In fact it ties into this whole concept of Spatulas, Wearing Pants, and Robot Monkeys. It's about pushing the boundaries of experience. About exploring the boundaries of myself. Who am I? What am I made of? How far can I go? This explains a lot about what my friend Jonge says in regard to circling the toilet bowl with my humor.. how I just jump right in. This also explains my awkwardness with everyone. How do you tell someone what you really see about them, good or bad, without somehow making them uncomfortable? Just imagine being able to read minds... it would feel something like that. This explains all the fascination with Role-Playing games, being other people. It also explains why I run from myself so much. I am like a fool who yearns to be a master, but still wishes to possess the possibility of the number Zero.

Humor I feel exemplifies this philosophy exquisitely. Which explains the whole deal Of FLLOYD the Mutant Coffee Table, my eternal love of the Ninja, and why I would use a spatula in a Zombie Holocaust or an alien invasion. It's about being unknown and unpredictable which ties perfectly into the concept of what Zero represents. The fact it does not look like anything but ultimately could be everything... even all at once. It is the eternal center of everything. Very much like the answer 42 is supposed to be...

So what is the point of this log? I feel like I have answered something terribly important just now. What I want out of life is experience. I ultimately wish to achieve mastery of myself... I just may not have been taking responsibility for my actions yet.

That is a scary prospect. Responsibility for any and all my actions. That means in addition to taking responsibility for my direct actions, taking responsibility for anything that happens even if I had no direct hand in it. I think this is what they mean by Karma.

I know what I am saying is very true. It's like knowing when a drawn line is perfectly straight.

Alright, now with this uber powerful revelation, how does one implement it in our day to day? How can I accept responsibility for everything and still keep my heart light? Or is the power of the knowledge supposed to keep me from being pulled down by ultimate responsibility? I feel the need to not say too much about pain and joy for they are things that pass as all things do. The only real truth I think matters is the acceptance of ourselves by ourselves for ourselves. Only then can we truly accept others for themselves. Why do I want to rub the Buddha all of a sudden?

So THAT'S why I like to eat food I don't like... holy crap I feel better now that I sorted THAT out!