I shall bring you a "Shrubbery!"

Ahh! I just cut my nails... much much better!

So I sit here and I have been posting pictures, talking to everyone, went to my friend Banditt's wedding yesterday, goofed off on the internet... and I played with my kitten! Yes my Kitten!

So. I have found a kitten. I was about to go to the hospital to see my Dad and I found a kitten as we were leaving. I heard it mewling in the bushes and saw it's eyes were gummed shut and it seemed to be abandoned. I took a warm cloth to it's face and opened it's eyes again. I watched it over night and kept it's eyes clean, and it seemed to be better. I took it to the vet the next day and they deflead it gave it some meds, and eye drops for it's infections. They were very helpful. It's really doing well right now, we will get it tested for the hard core cat diseases in a couple weeks to make sure it will be well.

You may be asking yourself why I am going on about some kitten rather than my dad right now... I know I'm asking myself that question. My dad had diarrhea really bad and an infection in his leg and it turns out that it's because he has not been digesting food well because he's anemic - which is associated with the diabetes? The infection could be not properly washing one's hands after the bathroom. But this is one incident in a long string of them. It sounds serious and it might be. They are putting him in a home for a while to get him rehabilitated... probably to muscle him up and make him more mobile. I bet this anemia is associated with lack of blood flow which is the result of a lack of exercise, and probably has something to do with sitting in a wheelchair all day watching 70's staple television without stretching, toning the muscles, or doing much of anything other than asking everyone to get stuff for him... See, I don't intend to be a selfish bastard here, but I don't know what to say either. Is this brought on himself? Is it independently serious? Should I feel pity? Remorse? Should I not be relieved that trained professionals who have dealt with people like him before are dealing with him now, instead of my mother?

I don't know how to feel about my Dad come to think of it. He did do things for me, he did a lot. I do love him and I want to help him... but what do ya do with someone who does need help, but then they go too far and basically never help themselves? Imagine someone falling and asking for a hand, and then going limp and expecting someone to take their entire weight to the nearest hospital... at it's worst it feels like that sometimes.

At it's best, it's good to be able to talk to my Dad, BS about stuff. But then it's just running around and serving him after a minute. See, this is a very complicated issue for me, and I have no clear sane way to articulate it. The issue of "My Dad" is this epic level of messed up to explain or talk about. Hell I probably already said too much? When don't I?

Anyway, on with this blog. My point? I have issues with my Dad. My Mom has issues with my Dad. My Dad has issues with my Dad. Things have been rough and terrible here while I was away. I never realized the extent of the drama and the issues of what my home life was/is like until I came back. All the senseless darkness, all the imprisoned thoughts and feelings. There is kindness, there is love, dedication, duty, honor... but oh so much despair. It permeates and subdues, gazing at us from every mirror.

So, what's this got to do with a kitten? This Kitten whose name is Shrubbery Rofalao McFiesty makes my Mom laugh while dad is away. She has gotten into it ya see. She has given it toys and loves to watch it run around and play. We are going to straighten up the house and keep the kitten safe. It's a reason to do something here. The kitten makes me smile and gives me something to love and hold on to. I suspect it will help Dad as well when he comes back. I think that's what we needed more than anything... something that brings us hope and makes us feel like we are actually accomplishing something. The Kitten may well be what the Doctor ordered.